:-( = the world is over

I made my Korean Harry Potter look alike, Evan, cry today. It was the last kindergarten class of the day, and the kids were getting antsy. They wouldn’t sit in their seats and kept touching/hitting/hugging/poking their neighbor, so I taped them in. Yes, that’s right, I duct taped them down to their chairs so they couldn’t move. Kidding. I made lines out of tape on the table and told them not to cross it. What did Evan do? He reached over the line and hit Jenny. I gave him a frown face on the board and it was the end of the world. He put his head down on the table and started sobbing. I felt like an asshole. After the game ended, I took off the tape and of course they started bouncing off the walls again screaming, “Simon Says teacher, Simon Says!” Oh, we played Simon Says, alright. “Simon says sit up straight in your seat.” “Simon says put your hands in your lap.” “Simon says what is this?” and showed them one of the flashcards and proceeded to teach the rest of the lesson using Simon Says. It totally worked and they were little angels for the rest of the class. That’s thinking on your feet, my friend. Kind of like when I forgot the game pieces for a board game and made one team the eraser and the other the glue stick. Yes, I am THAT teacher, the crazy one.


Then today in my favorite elementary class, Tony cried. This time it wasn’t my fault. I don’t know if I could bring myself to give him a frown face anyways. He’s so tiny and cute with amazing, thick curly hair, wearing his martial arts uniforms. He and Joey are my buds. Joey is a chubby little boy with glasses who smiles shyly every time I encourage him or tell him “good job!” Oh my gosh, I’m bringing back a truckload of Korean babies with me. Anyways, I was setting up one of the games and was a bit distracted when some of the kids started yelling, “Teacher! Teacher! Tony’s picking his nose!” Except they didn’t say “picking his nose”, instead they shoved their fingers up their own nostrils to show me what he was doing…which totally defeated the purpose, because it only made them nose pickers too. Tony was so embarrassed he put his head down and started crying. It was so sad, but freaking hilarious. My kids kill me.

Tomorrow I’m done with classes at noon. I’ve been feeling the need to do something creative: writing, painting, photoshopping my head on celebrities’ bodies, it honestly doesn’t matter, I just need to do something! Tonight we’re making a trip to Home Plus (the Korean Walmart, but better), so I can take pictures for my Alien Registration Card. I love how this task has morphed into a girl’s night out. That’s what I love about Korea, even the most mundane tasks become an adventure.

Pictures from a past Home Plus visit:

In all it's glory

"Only in Korea" fact: At grocery stores they don't give you a bag unless you ask for one, and then you bag your own groceries!

Such a happy little family.