I think I'm the only foreigner in Korea who didn't attend the Mud Festival this weekend. While wallowing (pronounced "wallerin" where I come from) around in the mud and getting sloshed with a bunch of other Westerners sounded appealing to everyone this weekend, I desperately needed solitude. My friend, Joel, came to visit for a week and we cram packed as much as we could during his time in Korea (Seoul, the DMZ, hiking, eating delicious Korean food, temple stay...), and except for a day off, I had my full teaching schedule. Also, Amy and Carina left a week ago today, proving that nothing is permanent, especially in Korea. As if to bring this point home, right after the girls left, the thrift store on my street that I've passed every day for 8 months has shut down. A seafood restaurant is in it's place. No amount of fish is going to replace where I got the one armed slinger (ridiculous crappy backpack that gets poked fun at constantly). Deep sigh. I miss Amy so much. Already. She was a little piece of home (we went to the same high school), and an awesome person that I grew incredibly close to since my time in Korea. No more Sunday nights at Pizza 2001. However, she is coming back in the fall to attend Korean classes at Seoul University AND, drum roll...CARLY AND DAVID SAX ARE COMING TO KOREA! I haven't allowed myself to fully experience excitement and joy of their arrival. I just can't do it until they are here. My brain can't fathom it.
The main reason I stayed home this weekend was to complete an application that is due on Monday (EST) for a "project" that I really want to get. Vague, I know, but I don't want to announce what it is, partly because I may be a little superstitious, and partly while filling out the application, I've begun to doubt myself and think that my chances are slim. It doesn't hurt to apply, right?
Lately I've been feeling really antsy. One of the main things that I loved about coming to Korea was separating myself from Western ideas and pressures, mainly that my career path defined my worth in life. However, lately I've almost felt a loss of identity. The J-School, advertising, my internships...they were a big part of my life, and without them I'm struggling a bit with what my purpose is supposed to be. I enjoy teaching, but it's not my passion. I need something to pour my ideas into, a creative outlet. I need a project.
It's Sunday night and I haven't accomplished as much as I would have liked. I've been fighting with my Mac and incompatible external hard drive all weekend, trying to create more space on my computer...and let's face it, I'm a procrastinator. I'll write a sentence for my letter of intent, and then watch two episodes of 30 Rock, clean my apartment, or write a blog. I've been compulsively eating ramen, raisins, and Nutri-Grain Bars (I made a trip to Cost Co). I guess it could be worse. Wish me luck and cross your fingers.
1 comment:
i love the word jank. it's definition can encompass most purposes, and each time i hear it, i chuckle remembering when emily explained one must have "jank-eye" to work at fredmo's "the pig" restaurant. love ittt.
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